WTF are you doing to my penis?!

Before everyone gets all worried about me having a penis, this post will be about circumcision- more specifically being against male circumcision in the US for reasons other than religious (not a fan of it, but well I doubt many people are going to believe me over the Torah and the Quran- that and I know in the Torah its a sacrifice to god, so if you like god and he wants your foreskin.. well that just makes me think he’s a strange dude.) Now people may wonder why I care about the penises of young boys. The answer is simple, they are living things. I will fall over to miss walking on ants on the sidewalk, I’ve missed a whole day’s worth of work to take care of some baby squirrels and get them to a safe place with a professional and I cried when I hit an opossum with my car. In addition, I hope to someday be the parent of a little guy, so I had better make an informed decision before someone makes it for me.

I don’t remember when I formed an opinion on this, so I decided the best way to go about this is to take the reasons for circumcision and retort. Oddly enough, its really not that easy to find web sites for circumcision- interesting, eh? Well I found this one ( so I shall go through and comment one by one on their reasons.

“If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” vs “Prevention is better than cure”- heh, to go mundane or melodramatic…  A terribly high proportion of my family has ended up wearing glasses (both my parents, all four grandparents, both aunts- my whole immediate family), because of this my brother and I were born with a high chance of needing corrective lenses. Should they have popped out our eyes at birth so we didn’t have to go through the trouble of glasses/contacts/lasik? I’ve been wearing glasses since I was in 3rd grade and though yes dorky glasses and wandering contacts can be annoying, I like my eyeballs in my head. My brother, on the other hand, still have no need for corrective lenses. OR According to the CDC the leading cause of death in people in the US is heart attack. Well why don’t we just get rid of that junker before it starts acting up!

Gasp, phimosis! Okay, most guys can’t fully retract their foreskin until their teens or later. Most guys don’t even need to until. Heck, you’re not even supposed to start trying until it moves on its own which normally starts around preschool age. Often enough it can be cured with gentle stretching or creams.

*rolls eyes* “If your son cannot do that he may need circumcising. Boys frequently forget or deliberately avoid this routine and run into difficulties.” (related to cleaning under the foreskin) Now, last I checked I have a vag. Much like an uncir’ed penis, it has some outer skin and an inner mucusy bit, just I’d say there is more to a vag than a penis. Now, I can manage to wash, rinse and pat dry my junk regularly, as does the rest of the female population. Even if I forgot, I don’t think that should give my parents the right to go around cutting off my inner and outer lips. A bunch of teenagers can’t seem to get the hang of a tooth brush, so should we remove their jaw at birth?

Pain during intercourse- I’d have to make inquiries, but I can assume its more from either phimosis or sensitivity since the glan has been chilling in some foreskin and not out to the rest of the world.

Thrush- ie the yeast infection! Almost all of the population of females in the world will get a yeast infection at least one in their life. Yeah, it can be itchy, but so can a sun burn. You can go to walmart and buy a kit for a couple bucks to take care of it- no biggy. Just think, since there are two of you, maybe you’ll be able to pick up on it sooner.

So far it seems like there is as much medical reason for a cir as there is for what is generally deemed “female genital mutilation”. Sweet! On to “benefits”!

Because when they get old, doctor’s might infect their junk? I’m not even sure where to begin with this stupidity. What the hell kind of doctors are these?

Penile cancer- Looks like HPV “may” be a risk factor, one more time for the kids in the burn unit, “may”. The risk of HPV may be decreased with circ.. or getting all of your daughters vaccinated. Looks like being over 60 and using tobacco products are also penile cancer risk factors. Now we’re back to killing the old folks for fun. :/

I think a condom is more affect against HIV/AIDS than no foreskin. Teach your kids to use a damn condom! There is even new research that foreskin can help protect against HIV/AIDS. And guess what, no matter how much foreskin you have, condoms still work! Go watch “Kids”. You’ll learn.

Lots of people like the look of a circ’ed penis, “It is odour-free, it feels cleaner, and they enjoy better sex”. Oh where to  begin. Well a circ’ed penis is two different colors and has an obvious scar. An uncirc’ed penis looks like a sweater sleeve that is long (don’t forget, when you retract the skin, it looks very much like a cut penis). It’s not for me to decide which you like better. If you clean it like you should with the rest of your body, there shouldn’t be an odor. As for feeling, I’m not touching my son’s penis. I would assume no one will really be “feeling” his penis seriously until he is well into his teens. If he thinks it would feel cleaner, then by all means when he is 18 he can get whatever the hell he wants lobbed off. Until then I’m not really going to let him make permanent changes to his body so some little chicky (or dude) can get her/his rocks off with something (s)he thinks feels cleaner.

Balanitis actually seems to happen more in uncirc’ed guys. Also looks like if you clean yourself and stay healthy (diabetics seem to get it the worse), you’ll be kosher.

Women have a higher rate of UTI since we have shorter urethras than men. Apparently we should start killing women. UTI in circed vs uncirced guys isn’t really a heck of alot.

“Remind them to pull back their foreskins whenever they pee as it helps to keep the foreskin clean. It also makes it easier to aim and assists them to avoid spraying the toilet – just as circumcision does.”- Pulling it back works just as well at cutting it off. Your hand is already down there to hold it, I’m certain it takes minimal effort to go from holding to pulling back.

You should cut them early because they won’t remember it, won’t require stitches.. and it will be an open wound in a diaper filled with bowel movement! Next time I hurt myself I’m going to stick it in the toilet and see how it goes. Aftercare with genital piercings  is a bit of effort for around a month. I can only imagine something much larger, on a baby, in poo.

“Thus, circumcision in babyhood can be a very sensible decision – especially for a single mum with a boy and no man around the house.”-One of my ex bfs was raised by just his mom and he was/is intacted. He said it wasn’t a big deal. If any woman can figure out how to open her lips and clean, I think she can teach her son how to retract and clean (or two seconds on google can).

Haha, from the same site “When your son grows older he may notice the difference between his circumcised penis and the uncircumcised penises of his friends. You should prepare him for this by explaining that he has been circumcised and why you chose to have him done.”

Other bits!

“The surgery wastes more than $250 million health care dollars annually(4) as well as untold personnel hours.”- A ton of ppl can’t afford regular check ups, but we can def waste money on cutting babies.

Most “medical” facts about circumcision were made up to rationalize the operation.

During the 19th century, it became popular in the US to stop masturbation.

“Boys should look like their dads”- I don’t look like either of my parents. Am I doomed? Everyone’s genitals looks different anyways.

I don’t even want to get into all of the terribly stuff that can happen from circing your kid (he might even die from it). You clearly can use a computer, google it.

Well, I believe I’m done ranting for now (its 7 am and I’m tired). Luckily enough, it is becoming more and more popular to leave male children intact. I’m not saying I have first hand knowledge either way since I’ve never had a penis, so if someone has some other info, feel free to comment.


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