Archive for August, 2009

The CDC is touching America’s baby penis again!

Posted in Uncategorized on August 29, 2009 by scribedexi

Gods help us!

WTF CDC (and AAP to a mildly lesser degree). Why are you trying to chop off foreskin because in ONE study in AFRICA, getting snipped has been shown to reduce AIDS in HETERO sex of AFRICANS? Like really! I bet I could go to campus and survey during the day and come up with data where I can claim that being raped causes women to be more successful. How you might ask- I’d spend all day asking, wait until I have a random spike of women who were raped and then say that since they are on college, as dictated by the fact that they are on a college campus, they are successful! Pretty easy! (If you know anything about stats, marketing etc, you can make statistics support anything) So, CDC, want me to do it, get the results then email them to you so you can start having medically prescribed rape for baby girls so they will do better in life? I’ll take your appalled silence as a yes. Okay! But seriously, wtf is wrong with these people? European countries do not cut their boys routinely and we do, yet we have higher rates of AIDS than all of Europe (save the Ukraine, Russia and Spain) AND more people die of AIDS in the US than all of Europe in 2007 (except Russia). And guess what, even with this “reduction” in AIDS in Africa, they still have the highest rates of HIV, AIDS and death from AIDS.

So, why are we recommending circing our boys? I don’t know, but if you’ve been raped and went to college, leave me a comment so I can send the data to the CDC.


First Church of Wicca- Befuddling people since 2005!

Posted in Uncategorized on August 29, 2009 by scribedexi

Oh First Church of Wicca.. how much I rejoice at your loss, nah, the loss of the Pagan community. Alas Reverend “Doctor” *bullshit* Kendra Vaughan Hovey has gone back to where she belongs, crazy monotheism (not all monotheism is nearly as crazy as she is, but I’m sure her brand is excitingly nutso!). Well, before I sound too much like I am talking out of my ass, let me give you the background here.

So, back when I was a young person in Sept of 07, I first encountered the First Church of Wicca. I was at my very first Pagan Pride Day in SWCT. It was a nice day and we have a decent number of PODS people. How wonderful! So, there were many workshops, vendors and guest speakers. Well being like most Pagan events, it is most full of shiny things and mystic readers… so quickly we got bored. Welp, at one point we wandered into a lecture. Something about even the area around the tent felt off. I didn’t want to go in, but the people I was with did. We sat down in front of some strange woman in a robe with one of those preacher collars and small children with matching outfits in toe. It looked like a cross between Hogwarts and church… pretty freakish. So like part of what this wackjob woman said made sense- mainly a Pagan indoor worshiping house with regular services.. maybe even the doing services on Saturday so people can go to Sunday church with their families (no one seems to realize that Pagans are normally more about family than anything else, so this is why many of us still celebrate Christmas and Easter with our families or say grace with dinner at family events). Beyond that it was creepy and unnerving. I definitely wanted to escape before I got kidnapped by some cult (I’m sure if Bethany was there she would have been looking out for some poison laydened Kool-Aid).

So, fastward to Aug 09. I was working on the Pagan Primer (to get a copy, let me know) and as part of it, I wanted to include Pagan houses of worship. Well I remember seeing these cult like wack jobs, but none the less I figured it was a good example of a local Pagan house of worship. So as I tooled the internet and *gasp* The First Church of Wicca is gone! The hypocrisy, the insanity.. all gone! So of course I had to read the email she sent the members (you can find it pretty much anywhere online). Figures, she went from a Wiccan wack job to a Christian wack job. Now anyone who knows me knows I rank Wicca below Christianity in legit religions and pretty much despise it, but there was one part in the letter that really bothered me. The “oh so learned” Rev. Dr. Bullshit claimed that she found many pitfalls in Wicca, including that there is no set moral code or unification. Now I’ll be the first to say Wicca has many pitfalls, but not having some pretty standard set codes isn’t one of them. Now, I know not ALL Wiccan groups follow them, but The Law of Three, the Rede, Charges of the God and Goddess, etc are followed quite to the T in almost all traditions. Like really… if you follow one Wiccan path, you have a pretty well outlined guide. Even if you don’t, it is the purposes of your High Priest(ess)/(e)s, Reverend or other Wiccan leader to give you a guide line of what to do and help you make decisions. That just sounds like inept leading on her part. (This is not a good sign because some how I, a recently 22 yr old, can magically lead a Pagan group for going on three yrs without such terrible issues caused by sheer moronitude) I mean can you imagine being led by a so-called expert who can’t seem to manage the most common aspects of your religion? And not only that, but when was the last time Christianity was some sort of damn unified front- Is Jesus part of god, god’s son, some human or something else? Is homosexuality bad or whatever? Should Christians keep with Jewish laws like keeping kosher? What day is actually the sabbath? Are there saints? Is everyone else but your brand of Christianity going to hell or is just being a good person enough? I could go on and on, but you all get the point. I mean I bet Christians are more indecisive than Wiccans… Hel, I bet you can pick a group of Christianity (like Protestant) and even they would be less decisive than Wicca.

You know what, I’m glad those poor people are no longer being led by this quack. I mean she can’t figure out simple shit and clearly her whole family is some group of religiously unstable people (her husband and children are all Christians and participate in her wack job church and she went from Jewish to some weird New Age to Wiccan to random brand of Christian). It is because of people like her that other people do not take Pagan religions seriously. Is it so hard to find someone serious about being Pagan? I’d even take more of the multitude of people from my student group who went from super Pagans to SUPER Buddhist, but still at least see Paganism as serious. Though this Reverend Doctor claims to be trying to bridge some sort of misunderstanding between Wiccans and Christians, it just sounds like she wants to convert people.

Well, we bid you adieu, First Church of Wicca. Thank the gods you are no longer confusing folk. We bid you well, Reverend Doctor, on your mission to the one true god and his son? Jesus. And please, direct people looking for information about Wicca to people who actually know because clearly you are quite confused.

Things I hate today (and normally hate anyways)

Posted in Uncategorized on August 26, 2009 by scribedexi

So, another fun filled morning is this bastardy I live in.

It started out mundane enough.. talked to Brendan until he had to go to bed, worked (but for once didn’t get the world’s stupidest questions), stayed up too early because I had things to do.. Then we get into the more exciting stuff. So I called my old high school to see if my brother could take the ASVAB there. That actually went well! The secretary was nice and cute in an old lady secretary kind of way. I can dig it. Then onto my own business. I had to call the Financial Aid Dept because, though the Federal Government takes electronic signatures on taxes, Uconn does not (even with a page stating that no signature is required because it was signed electronically). So, I figured I could call them and get things straightened out. I call at 8:04- already fourth in line… wow. So I hold to their stupid music and mind numbing commentary, then alas, a human! Well Renee was all ready to help me, she was! I tried to explain this mishap as well as I could (yeah I should sleep before doing shit sometimes). Oh but Renee wasn’t having it. Before I could ask if I could email it, she hung up on me. *hangs head in shame* Now, normally I would suck it up and deal with the fact that I have to drive 15 mins to campus, park, walk half way across campus (If you’ve ever been to Uconn you know this is not only epic, but will result in A.Cars coming within literally six inches of you and B.the blue FO trucks running you over on the sidewalk-they seem to dodge you when you work in the office though..woot), get redirected randomly for no reason, have someone fuck something up, walk back across campus, maybe pick up a soda as a treat, hop in my now 1000 degree car, drive home, park in my littler visitor parking space, try to figure out why my roommates only lock the deadbolt (thus resulting in me finagling with the lock and deadbolt lock for around five mins), finally getting inside, kicking off my shoes and dragging my sweaty body to my subterranean lair… but Sunday morning I hurt my right ankle, so driving especially feels like my foot might fall off at the ankle. I figure I value my pained body enough to find some alternative method to getting this stupid paper to these ppl. Ahha! Yes, I could sign it, scan it and fax it online! How clever I am! So, up to the land of the living upstairs, where for moisture reasons still lives up there. I throw the paper in the scan, hit the sweet “scan” button, blink goes the wee light indicating it’s pondering things and……..!!!!…… nothing. Nothing? Nothing. Let me try copying. Hit the copy button (black) and…..!!!…. paper jam!  Took me a good number of minutes and part of the top of my hand to find out it did nothing. Hmm, well perhaps its from the fact that I dl’ed all of the drivers and software from online and only did “basic”. *much dling, searching and insanity ensues* After all that, still nothing. I don’t even see any HP stuff on my comp!? What the heck. At this point its been an hr since my original ordeal with FA (still wouldn’t be home yet if I just went there, but it would have made a dent in the trip), so I figure I will talk to the HP tech support. It’s their job to do this, right? So I try their im service- its down. Okay, I’ll call them. Oh bad idea. Not only is it a bad connection, but its a bad connection with my favorite people, Adam from the Middle East/Southern Asia! Now, I like people from other countries, I like diversity.. hell my room has stolen bits of Asian cultures (my grandfather was stationed variously in Southern Asia and Japan), but two of my biggest pet peeves are: people I can’t fucking understand and outsourcing. I don’t care where the fuck you’re from, I speak English, I’m an asshole, I want you to speak English too if you are going to talk to me (I don’t care how nice you are, I appreciate you trying, but I want to speak with someone I can understand). And outsourcing.. don’t get me gods damn started. I’d boycott all companies that outsource, but I wouldn’t own or use anything anymore. I have friends who were making major money and just got laid off one day because “Adam” will do the same thing for five cents. Outsourcing- death to you. Bring jobs back! Anyways, I carefully enunciated everything I said, spelled out things like my name slowly to make sure “Adam” could understand me. He slurred everything and missed the things I repeated a million times. wtf Anyways, after all this epic time with Adam, he said he had to check my troubleshooting options because the warranty on my printer was up. I figured, no problem, it’s just troubleshooting. Well after Adam being dumb some more, he told me my only option was to pay 40 bucks because the warranty had expired (which he must have repeated at least 20 times) and asked if I wanted to do this. I, of course, said no. Not only was Adam confused, but has to explain to me all of the benefits of doing it (yay, for the next two weeks I can call whenever I want) and asked me again if I wanted to pay up. I said “no”..(see, all around the world “no” doesn’t seem to mean no.. it means a cross between maybe and yes.. epic sadness). He asked me what to do now, like no one has ever said no before… what an odd job to never have someone decline to pay a bunch of money. I need a job like that. So I told him well I guess our conversation is over then and he proceeded to tell me thanks for choosing HP! Yeah, they are lucky I’m not trying to burn down their headquarters (FBI, I’m not a terrorist. I’m too gimp to drive to campus, let alone to wherever HP is… no SWAT team ninjas breaking into my house.. just put me on your “random nutcase” list and tap my cell phone and internet and we will be set, I promise) So, within one min after getting off the phone with “Adam”, I do one google search (instead of trying to get around the hp site) and lo and behold, first link is a gift from the gods. Apparently hp’s are made for macs, so everyone I was reading was mac stuff.. but for Windows, just open paint and it will work flawlessly. Boom, boom, boom- I see it perfectly on my screen, ready to be saved! So I check the faxing site- has to be a doc, docx or pdf, drat. So I copy and paste the jpg into word. For some reason, it wants to save at half its size. What in the Hel (heh, irony.. half size.. half dead chick..)! So I keep trying to redo it- no good. Whatever, they’ll get what they get! So off it went at half size. Merry Fucking Christmas, Financial Aid! I’m too gods damn annoyed to call to make sure they got it. I’ll do it later today or tom. I hate everyone. I need a hug… a non outsourced hug. Outsource my hug and I’ll kill you. (Sorry post-patriot act police.. I’ll be very very saddened, to an emo a pouty level) Yawn, I’m going to sleep.. I hope…

APA: Still trying to destory the life of gay folk!

Posted in Uncategorized on August 7, 2009 by scribedexi

So at first I thought this was some wacky Christian counselor. Alas no, it is the American Psychological Association. These are the people that control not control the mental health of many, but control my mental health! (as far as interacting with trained professionals) Yes, its awesome that you’re not informing gay people that it’s wrong to be gay, but I think telling them to repress their homosexual feelings is just ridiculous. Now I’m pretty big on analogies, so let’s see how this one goes:

So, I go into a shrink. I’m having major issues reconciling my religion and my racial background. I doing something commonly called “passing” (historically someone, often half or all African-American/Black/etc who appeared “white looking” therefore would live their lives at White. Sounds obscure to many, but I’m fairly certain this was/is a concern from my family. I remember my mom telling me how my grandmother told her not to be surprised if I reject her/my African-American ethnicity… yeah that wasn’t appalling to hear for me!). So, I develop this sweet anxiety disorder because I’m uber concerned someone is going to find out that I’m passing. I try to explain this to the shrink. I say, well being white is clearly better, I mean Jesus was white, god has to be white (the man has a pure white glow about him, right?), everyone in my kiddie bible was white, I mean there are even passages in the bible that say that! I’ll even be a super Christian and say I go to a Christian Church that has a White Jesus and professes some of these ideas. I’m even poisoning myself with skin bleaching creams and never go out during the day if it’s sunny. Let’s say for all intensive purposes the APA has the same policy about race as it does about homosexuality. So what should my shrink do? Tell me its okay to freak out and I should keep passing but never get married or have kids so its harder to expose my secret? Or teach me how to be more accepting of my heritage- show me biblical figures who weren’t Caucasian, have me go to a church with people of different colors.. generally show me that you can be a good Christian and not have it fly in the face of my identity and that its more important to be myself than it is to follow something someone claimed to have interpreted from the bible and that the overall ideals of Christianity are more important.

So, APA, what do you think? No ill affects? I can only imagine how I would feel working so hard to live a life with such a secret, then someone finding out or succumbing to it. All of the shame, guilt.. crushing me. I mean there is a difference between a medical professional and a priest. If you wanted someone who follows 100% the dogma of your religion, go see a priest. If you want a more religiously objective help, see a doctor. Hell, I can’t even find a doctor who knows a damn thing about my religion and you know what, I find them just as affective as if they had a clue (just with less gods…). Ugh, no wonder crazy people are crazy.

Mubi Mubi- creation story

Posted in Uncategorized on August 3, 2009 by scribedexi

The Mubi Mubi have a long tradition of being some of the best and most elaborate story tellers. Though they do have a rudimentary written language, they keep most of their most important stories oral based. They say it is so that the breath of their tribe is taken through the body by remembering and saying it. If it were to just be written, then it would die.

On that note, let is move to the creation story! This story is specifically the creation of earth. One day, a giant cosmic being was walking around space. This cosmic being was a pink of sorts, almost a magenta, very tall, giant feet and genderless. As it walked around, it came upon this planet. It was a fairly mundane planet- pretty round with just this thin, even layer of water all around it. The cosmic giant’s children often played with all of these planets for general fun and games. As with human children, the cosmic kids weren’t keen on putting anything away. Well, the cosmic being was terribly used to kids leaving crap everywhere, so it just walked without paying any attention. This seemed like nothing to the cosmic being, but it had a huge impact on earth. The giant feet of the being sunk deep into the ground, causing oceans. Splashes of water caused lakes and ponds and the water running off its foot caused rivers. And with that the frame work of the earth was made. At this point, the earth was just dirt and water. The children of the cosmic being, as children often do, made toys out of anything to fulfill their fantasies. At some point after their parent had left, they decided to turn our tiny planet into almost a doll house. They made various creatures from clay of all shapes, sizes and colors. Now being mischievous children, they decided the dolls must be alive. By performing a ritual including inserting pieces of stars into them (the mythological origin of the heart). The dolls still weren’t functioning, so the children breathed life into them. With this the creatures of the earth sprung into action. They started building homes and civilizations. The children would give the dolls they liked scraps of food and the others, they would starve. Some of the foods started growing on the planet, making various forms of vegetation. Though some of the less loved creatures ate the vegetation, others became angry and consumed other creatures. Seeing this sight, the children became disgusted with their creation and abandoned it. The earth creatures always knew of their creators and often called out for their return. Sometimes the children would take pity on them and help, but often times would not. As generations of the earth beings died, they would float into the sky on clouds. The earth being felt that the ancestors could be contacted and be asked to try to gain favor with the cosmic children (or gods as most of us would call them). After this, ancestor worship (be it of humans or animals, of your own or others) became the preferred method of trying to change things.

My first question was “What is the name of the giant footed creator?” I recieved a most surprising response- no one cares so no one knows. They feel that this cosmic being is just some sort of wanderer and since it created the earth without realizing it, honoring it is fairly pointless since it would have no idea what is going on. Though they do not honor it directly, they hold albinos and intergender people in the highest regard and are considered good luck to the family inwhich they are born into. These people get to choose their place in society, be it part of the royal family, some recluse or anywhere in between. Shamans are known to paint themselves pink and wander in and out of society, as does the cosmic being wander through the universe.

One might ask what the Mubi Mubis think of Caucasians. When I asked, they just said it looks like they need some sun! It is far more about the eerie baby pink of the albinos than it is about generally light skin. They do think sun burnt light skinned people are hilarious though. Apparently snakes are a bit of pranksters, so the peeling of a sun burnt person’s skin makes them laugh more than the best show on Comedy Central. (Word of advise: if you ever go there, make friends quickly. They have a written recipe passed down through their albino generations of quite possibly the best sunscreen ever. Your skin will thank you). Dandruff is also funny, so if you want to be followed by a hoard of small children laughing hysterically (and alot of chuckling adults), leave your Head and Shoulders at home.

That’s it for today!

Mubi Mubi Tribe

Posted in Uncategorized on August 3, 2009 by scribedexi

Well, I have spent the summer studying the ways of the Mubi Mubi tribe (pronounced moo-bee moo-bee) of Central Africa. I figured I should inform everyone I know about their cool ways. This will end up being a long series of blogs. Hope you enjoy learning about them as much as I have!

Appearance: The Mubi Mubi Tribe is generally a very tall people. The females are normally between 5’10 and 6’1 and the males between 6′ and 6’5. They are thin, but muscular- very similar to your stereotypical high school runner. Their skin is normally the color of an even mix of milk chocolate and dark chocolate (sorry I’m kinda hungry), but albinos are held in terribly high regard (to be explained later).

The Mubi Mubi are most known for their hair. Their hair is long and soft, much like flax. The ruling family of the Mubi Mubi has the longest (often grown continuously through their whole lives without being cut) and most well quaffed manes. There are actually two families who are specialist in the maintaining and styling of hair. They use a large variety of plants, animals and other local things to aquire the desired look. Sometimes, when hunting parties make it to the coast, they bring back more exotic products, such as fish and salt. Updos are what is normally worn on a daily basis, for practical reasons. Special ocassion hair dos have a large range, much like what is popular with long haired females in the US. Aside from styling, dying and addition of adornments (beads etc) are also very common.

As with most humans, the most common eye color is various shades of brown, but there have been reports of blue eyes being moderately common- a few per generation (aside from the albinos). This, along with their unique hair, could point to some Northern African or European ancestory, though this has yet to be tested through genetics.