First Church of Wicca- Befuddling people since 2005!

Oh First Church of Wicca.. how much I rejoice at your loss, nah, the loss of the Pagan community. Alas Reverend “Doctor” *bullshit* Kendra Vaughan Hovey has gone back to where she belongs, crazy monotheism (not all monotheism is nearly as crazy as she is, but I’m sure her brand is excitingly nutso!). Well, before I sound too much like I am talking out of my ass, let me give you the background here.

So, back when I was a young person in Sept of 07, I first encountered the First Church of Wicca. I was at my very first Pagan Pride Day in SWCT. It was a nice day and we have a decent number of PODS people. How wonderful! So, there were many workshops, vendors and guest speakers. Well being like most Pagan events, it is most full of shiny things and mystic readers… so quickly we got bored. Welp, at one point we wandered into a lecture. Something about even the area around the tent felt off. I didn’t want to go in, but the people I was with did. We sat down in front of some strange woman in a robe with one of those preacher collars and small children with matching outfits in toe. It looked like a cross between Hogwarts and church… pretty freakish. So like part of what this wackjob woman said made sense- mainly a Pagan indoor worshiping house with regular services.. maybe even the doing services on Saturday so people can go to Sunday church with their families (no one seems to realize that Pagans are normally more about family than anything else, so this is why many of us still celebrate Christmas and Easter with our families or say grace with dinner at family events). Beyond that it was creepy and unnerving. I definitely wanted to escape before I got kidnapped by some cult (I’m sure if Bethany was there she would have been looking out for some poison laydened Kool-Aid).

So, fastward to Aug 09. I was working on the Pagan Primer (to get a copy, let me know) and as part of it, I wanted to include Pagan houses of worship. Well I remember seeing these cult like wack jobs, but none the less I figured it was a good example of a local Pagan house of worship. So as I tooled the internet and *gasp* The First Church of Wicca is gone! The hypocrisy, the insanity.. all gone! So of course I had to read the email she sent the members (you can find it pretty much anywhere online). Figures, she went from a Wiccan wack job to a Christian wack job. Now anyone who knows me knows I rank Wicca below Christianity in legit religions and pretty much despise it, but there was one part in the letter that really bothered me. The “oh so learned” Rev. Dr. Bullshit claimed that she found many pitfalls in Wicca, including that there is no set moral code or unification. Now I’ll be the first to say Wicca has many pitfalls, but not having some pretty standard set codes isn’t one of them. Now, I know not ALL Wiccan groups follow them, but The Law of Three, the Rede, Charges of the God and Goddess, etc are followed quite to the T in almost all traditions. Like really… if you follow one Wiccan path, you have a pretty well outlined guide. Even if you don’t, it is the purposes of your High Priest(ess)/(e)s, Reverend or other Wiccan leader to give you a guide line of what to do and help you make decisions. That just sounds like inept leading on her part. (This is not a good sign because some how I, a recently 22 yr old, can magically lead a Pagan group for going on three yrs without such terrible issues caused by sheer moronitude) I mean can you imagine being led by a so-called expert who can’t seem to manage the most common aspects of your religion? And not only that, but when was the last time Christianity was some sort of damn unified front- Is Jesus part of god, god’s son, some human or something else? Is homosexuality bad or whatever? Should Christians keep with Jewish laws like keeping kosher? What day is actually the sabbath? Are there saints? Is everyone else but your brand of Christianity going to hell or is just being a good person enough? I could go on and on, but you all get the point. I mean I bet Christians are more indecisive than Wiccans… Hel, I bet you can pick a group of Christianity (like Protestant) and even they would be less decisive than Wicca.

You know what, I’m glad those poor people are no longer being led by this quack. I mean she can’t figure out simple shit and clearly her whole family is some group of religiously unstable people (her husband and children are all Christians and participate in her wack job church and she went from Jewish to some weird New Age to Wiccan to random brand of Christian). It is because of people like her that other people do not take Pagan religions seriously. Is it so hard to find someone serious about being Pagan? I’d even take more of the multitude of people from my student group who went from super Pagans to SUPER Buddhist, but still at least see Paganism as serious. Though this Reverend Doctor claims to be trying to bridge some sort of misunderstanding between Wiccans and Christians, it just sounds like she wants to convert people.

Well, we bid you adieu, First Church of Wicca. Thank the gods you are no longer confusing folk. We bid you well, Reverend Doctor, on your mission to the one true god and his son? Jesus. And please, direct people looking for information about Wicca to people who actually know because clearly you are quite confused.


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